


Handmade Red Strings

by MistyMoon



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, i apologize already, i lowkey checked to see if they didnt drink too many beers but its almost 1am and im tired, mentions of the rest of the got7 crew, will update the tags as i write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2018-07-18 17:58:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7324993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyMoon/pseuds/MistyMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebum hated this soulmate thing; it was what everyone talked about all the time. It was annoying, it made him angry, and he'd rather burn alive than hear the word 'soulmate' again.<br/>When he and Jinyoung meet, they discover a shared hatred for the marks on their skin and Jaebum feels like he isn't alone for once.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. scattered gloxinias

**Author's Note:**

> basically the original soulmate au where u have ur soulmates name somewhere on ur body  
> trying out a new writing style so bear w me ok  
> unbeta'd so rip  
> when theyre texting, jb is regular text and jr is underlined text

The life of the party was definitely Yugyeom, with the amount of people around him just to see him dance. He was one of the drunkest there, besides the actual host Jackson Wang.  
Jaebum was drinking some horrible brand of beer in the kitchen. The loud music was some old rock shit only Jackson liked. He mindlessly scratched his right wrist on the edge of the table. The habit came from middle school, when his parents had to tell him about his soulmate mark since he didn't show any interest in it. He hated it, hated being tied to a single person, one he couldn't even choose. So he never looked at it. He scratched it whenever he could, hoping it would go away, but he knew it wouldn't. It stopped being intentional when high school started, since he had more worries than just a name on his skin, but it became something automatic for him to do by then.  
"No way, no way." The voice came from outside the kitchen. Jaebum thought it sounded like Youngjae's older sister.  
"Yes way, it's him!" Another girl spoke, pure excitement in her voice. "It's on my right ankle, Yoon Jeonghan!" Ah. That's what they were talking about. Jaebum got closer to the kitchen door, where the sound was coming from, so he could hear them clearly, but not close enough for them to see him. He wasn't interested at all, and he would rather burn alive than hear the word soulmate ever again, but he loves to torture himself, so he's going to listen to every second of this conversation.  
After five minutes, he regrets his decision _deeply_.  
It's gross. The four girls were talking about this Jeonghan guy, calling him pretty, gorgeous, and some other things Jaebum honestly wished he had never heard. He would stop listening to them, but it helped him forget how horrible the beer tasted and how much he didn't want to be at this party. He was only there because Mark begged him to, and because his textbooks were burning holes in his brain.  
The other girls started showing their soulmate marks and they were all in different places. Left forearm, behind their neck, on their hip. Jaebum wondered for a moment if having a mark on the wrist was too common. Maybe it was, since in all the books, the mark was always in the protagonists' wrist. This was bothering him for some reason. He didn't want to be common, he wanted to be different, have something that no one else did. But he didn't, and maybe he needed to change something about himself in order to be different. Or maybe he just needed a few more beers, and maybe then he'd have alcohol enough inside him so he'd forget the conversation he just listened to.  
"What are you doing?" A voice came from behind Jaebum and his heart jumped. He was ready to give the person an acceptable argument, when he turned around and froze. He knew it was someone from his class, but his alcohol-induced mind wouldn't let him remember his name. The guy was one of, if not the, best students in Jaebum's year, so Jaebum was surprised to see someone like that in a party hosted by no one other than party animal Jackson Wang.  
But what surprised Jaebum the most was how _good_ he looked. He wasn't wearing any of the things he usually wore at school; he was wearing black, ripped jeans and a loose, dark red shirt. It was a simple look, yet it fit him so well. Jaebum could look at him all day and it still wouldn't be enough. Not that he wanted to look at the guy for that long, not at all. He had no reason to, anyway.  
"Uhm, Jaebum?" He pulled Jaebum from his trance, reminding him he should say something.  
"Uh, I was just, uh," He swore he sounded more coherent in his thoughts.  
"Listening to someone else's conversation?" he said, smiling, and Jaebum didn't know if it was the worrying amount of beers he had or just him being really not straight, but holy shit _his smile._  
"Y-Yeah, kinda."  
"I won't do anything about it, if that's what you're worried about. I was just curious." He took a beer from the table and held it in his hand. "I'm Jinyoung, by the way. Pretty sure we're in the same class." _Jinyoung_. Jaebum knew he wasn't a stranger.  
"Oh yeah. Uh, you already know my name, so." Jinyoung chuckles.  
"It's not really easy to forget the name of the guy who made two teachers quit in a single month."  
"Okay, listen, they were horrible teachers, they deserved it."  
"Didn't know you were that mean, Jaebum." He smiles again and opens his beer, drinking half of it in one go. "So, what was it about?"  
"Hm?"  
"The conversation you were listening to."  
"Oh, uh, soulmates."  
"Ah." He tensed up when Jaebum said the word 'soulmates' and he looked a bit uncomfortable. "That's all people talk about, isn't it?"  
"Yeah. It's kinda annoying, really."  
"I just think it's bullshit that you're expected to just love whoever has their name on your skin without thinking twice." Jaebum's eyes lit up. Now this was a conversation he was very interested in. "I've never seen my mark and I honestly don't want to. I choose who I love, not some magical shit that has been happening for who knows how long."  
If Jaebum was just a bit more drunk, he'd propose to Jinyoung in this exact moment.  
"I couldn't agree more. Actually, I've never found anyone else that thought like that." Jaebum put his now empty beer on the table, reaching for another one. "My parents had to tell me where mine was since I never showed any interest for it."  
"Mine don't really care. They're just glad I'm focusing on my studies instead of chasing after some girl I've never seen." He drank the rest of his beer, Jaebum closely watching his throat with interest. He wanted to bite it, suck purple marks on it for everyone to see.  
He really needed another beer.  
"They do kinda control everything I do, so it's not like I had the time to worry about a soulmate with the amount of stuff they wanted me to do." He sighed, leaning against the table. "They don't even know I'm here, I had to tell them I was going to study with a friend, and it still took some convincing for them to let me. I'm just..."  
"Tired?"  
"Yeah. And I need new parents. They don't trust me at all and honestly I have no idea what the word freedom means anymore." He looked extremely upset, and Jaebum thought he was about to cry for a second. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be dumping this on you, this is like, the first time we actually talk, I'm so sorry."  
"It's fine, really." Jaebum put his hand on Jinyoung's shoulder. "I don't really know how you feel, so I can't really offer any advice, but I can listen if that's what you need."  
Jinyoung shivered and Jaebum could see he was holding back his tears. It wasn't often that Jaebum met people and right after he knew a part of their life he doubted they just told everyone they met. Maybe it was the alcohol (he wasn't sure how many beers Jinyoung had, though), but it was still a bit overwhelming, since Jaebum didn't have any idea of what to do.  
"Do you want me to take you home?"  
"No, it's fine, it's just... I don't get drunk often and I definitely don't talk about my parents, at all."  
Jaebum didn't know what to answer and Jinyoung didn't say anything either, so there was silence between them. Jinyoung opened another beer and downed it in one go. Then, he drank another, and another, and after half the cans were gone, Jaebum started drinking with him. It was not very wise for Jaebum to get even drunker than he was already, but Jinyoung wouldn't live if he drank all that alcohol by himself, and it didn't look like he'd willingly stop drinking, so someone had to do something. The only one around was Jaebum, so he had to be that someone.  
Only after Jinyoung had to reach for the fridge to get more beer did Jaebum do something to stop him.  
"Hey..." He grabbed Jinyoung's wrist, moving it away from the fridge. "I think you've had enough."  
Jinyoung didn't say anything. Jaebum could easily hear his loud breathing.  
"Jinyoung." Jaebum cuppped Jinyoung's cheeks, making the other look at him. "Say something."  
"Take me home. Please."  
"Okay."  
Jaebum didn't quite remember what happened next. He used Jinyoung's phone to call someone, said someone came to pick up Jinyoung, complaining about how he really shouldn't be drinking like this, and thanked Jaebum for taking care of Jinyoung. Then, Jaebum's mother took him home and he practically passed out in his bed.

* * *

  
It was 5am when Jaebum's loud phone woke him up.  
(5:12)  hey it's jinyoung  
(5:12) thanks for taking care of my wasted ass last night  
(5:12) my mom would've murdered me if she found out  
(5:13) also sorry again for dumping all my problems on you i was just kinda  
(5:15) yeah  
(5:16) it was nothing dont worry  
(5:17) tho smh go tf to sleep jinyoung its 5am u animal  
Jaebum didn't know what was worst: the fact that Jinyoung actually woke up at 5am, with a death hangover, and still texted Jaebum to thank him, or the fact that Jaebum had no memory of giving him his number.


	2. soaked dandelions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world was ending, Jaebum's smile could bring people back to life, and Jinyoung was in hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok first of all... i literally mashed up the brazilian and the american school system bc im too lazy to try and understand the korean one also its 1am i need to stop posting this at 1am. also this is lowkey un beta'ed so beer w me ok (if u get the joke ill buy u a cookie)

It was pouring outside. Jinyoung couldn't even see the streets with the heavy fog making the town disappear. Without his umbrella, which he forgot to bring, he had no idea how he would get back home. He'd probably have to either wait for it to stop raining, or run through the rain and risk getting sick. Though in reality, Jinyoung didn't have a choice; being stuck in school was better than being sick and missing the two tests he had the next day.  
He dragged himself through his English and History classes, which was an impossible task since he couldn’t focus on anything besides the sound of the rain, and finally the bell rang. Jinyoung was now free to escape the bigger hell that was high school, only to go back to a smaller hell called the Park residence. Not that he hated his family, he would just be very happy if he just had to see them once a month. He'd be even happier if it was once a year, but for now he had to handle them until he graduated.  
Someone snapped their fingers in front of Jinyoung, bringing him back to reality.  
"Someone really didn’t feel like paying attention to class, I see." Jaebum asked, smiling at Jinyoung.  
"Anything’s better than trying to understand History.”  
“Fair enough.” Jaebum replied.  
Jaebum accompanied Jinyoung to his locker, waiting for the other to put away his books. Jinyoung’s locker was a complete mess; there were books and papers everywhere and Jaebum was sure he could find a living thing inside. It didn’t help that Jinyoung basically threw his material in the locker. Jaebum rolled his eyes.  
They started to walk towards the exit, Jinyoung hoping he would be able to go home without getting drenched.  
"Okay, I kinda need to ask you something," Jaebum said. "It's not really serious or anything, just curiosity."  
"Shoot."  
"How did you get my number? I mean, I don't remember giving you my number, but I don't doubt that's what happened."  
"Oh, I just asked Mark for it," Jinyoung replied. "You mentioned him yesterday, and I had his number, so I assumed he'd have yours. I would've asked you for it today, but I didn’t want to wait that long. I hope that's okay."  
"Ah, no, it's fine. I was just wondering."  
They reached the door in silence, and Jinyoung stopped dead in his tracks. He surely mistook rain for the apocalypse, because it wasn't just pouring, the world was _ending_. No ordinary umbrella would be able to handle that rain; the trees were violently shaking and the few people left in the streets were running for their lives, one of them holding a completely wrecked umbrella. Jinyoung made a mental note to text Taehyung and ask him if he was alive and if his umbrella was still working.  
Jaebum opened the door, holding it open for Jinyoung.  
"So, you coming or not?"  
"Are you crazy?" Jinyoung's eyes widened. "We're gonna die if we go outside."  
"Not if we run, I'm sure." He reached for Jinyoung's hand, but the other quickly backed away. Jaebum couldn't be serious, no. "Listen, no one's gonna die and I promise you you're gonna get home intact."  
"You don’t even know where I live."  
“Tell me then.” Jaebum took a step closer to Jinyoung.  
Jinyoung, despite not wanting to go out in the rain, gave his address to Jaebum. What did he think he was doing? His parents would murder him if he got sick, and Jinyoung really didn’t feel like making up new excuses for the bruises he’d have the next day.  
“That’s kinda near Jimin’s, I can get you there.”  
“No, I-”  
“You’ll be there in a second, I promise.” He interrupted Jinyoung. “Do you trust me?”  
“Not in the slightest.”  
"Wonderful, let's go." He grabbed Jinyoung's hand and ran with him outside. Jinyoung’s heart was pounding; there was no way this was going to end well. He thought of going back inside, but it was too late now; his hair was completely soaked, along with his bag. Oh, he prayed for his parents to be in a good mood when he got home.  
Jinyoung could only look forward, struggling to keep up with Jaebum’s fast pace. He kept taking harsh turns, sometimes crossing the street without warning, forcing Jinyoung to have a death grip on the others hand so they wouldn’t get separated.  
Jaebum slowed down his pace as they got closer to a tree, and they both stayed under it while Jaebum tried to catch his breath. The tree was shaking so hard, it seemed like some of the branches would fall off. The sky was filled with dark clouds, and all Jinyoung wanted was for them to disappear and for the sun to shine so he could get home alive.  
"Hey, you see that park over there?" Jaebum pointed at a place across the street which didn't seem to have been heavily affected by the rain.  
"Yeah,” Jinyoung nodded. “What about it?”  
"Last time it rained like this, there were some really splash-able puddles that I saw a couple of kids playing in. Wanna go?" He looked dead serious, as if he actually wanted to play in a puddle. As if they didn't have to get home as soon as possible before they got sick.  
"What are you, six?"  
"Park Jinyoung," he said, looking at Jinyoung like he had offended him. "My mother, a very wise woman may I add, gave me an advice I'll most likely use for the rest of my life." He put his hands on Jinyoung's shoulders, making him look into his eyes. "Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Now, let me rephrase my question." He took a deep breath. "Do you want to go home by yourself, or do you want to wet the shit out of yourself with me in park?"  
"If I die, you'll pay for my funeral."  
Jaebum smiled and Jinyoung couldn't help but smile back. Something about his smile made Jinyoung feel at ease, made him forget about the rain, about his parents, about the test he had tomorrow. He wished he could stop time and live in that moment for as long as he wanted to.  
They ran across the street, and the park was indeed filled with puddles. They looked so deep, Jinyoung thought they could serve as pools. Jaebum jumped on the one closest to Jinyoung, soaking the other's jeans. Jaebum had just ruined Jinyoung's favorite jeans and, even though he had to go home, he couldn't leave without getting his revenge. The jeans weren’t even that important, but it was the only decent pair Jinyoung had and Jaebum was going to _pay_.  
He left his bag on the floor and pushed Jaebum, making him fall in the water. To Jinyoung's surprise, Jaebum grabbed his hand and pulled Jinyoung down with him. The splash they created managed to reach Jinyoung's bag, destroying anything dry left in it. They were in such an awkward position; Jaebum was under Jinyoung, while the other was laying on top of him. Jinyoung’s head was so close to Jaebum’s chest that he could hear his heartbeat clearly.  
Jaebum started to laugh and Jinyoung quickly joined him. All of it was just hilarious for Jinyoung. He should get up and go home, do his homework, and explain himself to his parents. But what he’s actually doing is laying on wet dirt, completely drenched, laughing with a guy whose laughter could make flowers bloom. This was either the start of a horrible nightmare, or a really good dream. Jinyoung hoped for the latter.  
“Okay, so,” Jaebum stopped laughing, looking up at the sky. “it’s still raining.”  
“Holy shit, you’re the next Albert Einstein.”  
“Shut up.” Jaebum rolled his eyes. “What I meant was, I should really get you home.”  
“Shouldn’t you be in classrooms, teaching Obvious Things 101? Because I honestly think you have a gift.” Jinyoung considered himself the master of sarcasm and he wouldn’t hesitate to use it on Jaebum.  
“Just get off me and let’s go.”  
Jinyoung got up, taking his soaked bag, and he and Jaebum continued to walk to Jinyoung’s house. There was no point in running anymore, since they already failed to avoid the rain, so they were walking in a pace Jinyoung could keep up with. Jaebum was smiling, and even though Jinyoung couldn’t tell why, it was a pleasant sight.  
For Jinyoung’s unhappiness, they quickly reached his house. Jaebum bid him farewell and turned around, making his way home. Jinyoung stood there, in front of the door, watching as Jaebum walked away. He wished he could be with him for longer. He took a deep breath and reached for his keys, opening the door and stepping inside. This was about to turn into a nightmare.  
Jinyoung’s mother called out his name and he shivered. He sent a quick message to Bambam before heading to the kitchen, where his mother was. He hoped he wouldn’t have to miss school the next day, but at the same time he wished the opposite, since he was running out of excuses to give. He entered the kitchen, knowing exactly what to expect, and all he could do was think about how much he wished he was still with Jaebum, and not at home.

* * *

  
(17:35)  if i don’t go to school tomorrow, take notes for me  
(17:35) please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if any of u thought this wasnt gonna get angsty oH BOI R I P its coming rip park jinyoung 2k16  
> im actually not happy with this chapter at all but im too excited to right the next one bc we're going back to jb's pov so have this idk what this is ok this is a mess and i hate it  
> anyway i hope ur enjoying this !! bc i sure am !!! god i just want to write the end of this smh @ myself finish this already  
> btw i have a tumblr ! its @woozinism !!


	3. delicate adonis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark is dragged into the mess and thinking that maybe Jinyoung is Jaebum's soulmate makes him want to burn the mark on his neck. Meanwhile, Jaebum starts reading the first line of the "Maybe I Have Feelings For Jinyoung" book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw u mess up the entire chapter  
> uhh i promised jb pov but like,,, mark rip  
> I FCUKED UP THE TITLE TOO SMH @MAE  
> bambam is underlined text mark is normal text and jb is italicized

Jaebum had been staring at the clock since the start of the day. He was counting the minutes, seconds, was waiting for Jinyoung to walk in and explain that he was just sick. When Jaebum had noticed there was no Jinyoung sitting next to him in the classroom, even after the first bell rang, he started hoping the other was just late, hoping he would arrive and sit next next to Jaebum while putting all the blame on his alarm. Jaebum heard from Jackson that Jinyoung rarely missed classes, which made Jaebum more worried. Every time the door opened during classes, his head snapped towards the door, thinking it was Jinyoung, but it never was.  
He left the classroom in record time when the last bell rang. He shoved all of his belongings in his bag, not caring if it would feel heavy later, and sprinted out of school. He almost forgot how doors worked and came close to slamming his face on the front door, not to mention he almost caused Baekhyun to drop all his materials when he bumped into him while he was running across the hall.  
Now, Jaebum wasn't someone that liked exercising. He always tried his best to escape p.e. classes and, even though he failed most of the times, he kept trying.  
Which is exactly why Mark went after him when he saw Jaebum bolting through the hallway. Jaebum didn't do running. In all Mark's ten years of knowing Jaebum, the other always hated running the most, he even said he would rather die than run once. Yet, it seemed like he was a fast runner, because Mark could barely keep up with him.  
Jaebum quickly left the school building and started crossing streets Mark was not familiar with, leading Mark to assume he wasn't going home, and he never stopped to wonder where he was going. It was like he knew every turn, every step he should take to reach his destination. They started nearing a residential neighborhood and Jaebum quickened his pace, causing Mark to almost lose sight of him. He had no idea where Jaebum was going; he didn't know anyone that lived in the neighborhood they were in, and he didn't think Jaebum did either.  
Jaebum stopped in front of a house with a white fence, and Mark was finally able to get close. The house looked exactly like the others, except for the colors, which were white and grey blue, and the breathtaking garden. There was a rainbow of colors in the form of flowers in there. Mark instantly recognized the house as Jinyoung's.  
Jaebum had his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Mark placed a hand on his shoulder, startling the other.  
"Oh," Jaebum said, after noticing it was Mark. "What are you doing here?"  
"You ran out of school, Jae. You don't do running. Looked like something had happened."  
"Uh, yeah, kinda." Jaebum was a bit awkward with his wording, and he looked tense. Worried, even. He kept eyeing the closed curtains behind the windows of the house, as if he was waiting for someone to appear.  
"Why did you come to Jinyoung's place?" Mark questioned, wanting to figure out what got Jaebum worried like this.  
"He wasn't in school today and he never misses a day so I was just, I don't know, worried something might have happened."  
"So you came over to his house." Mark was trying to connect the dots. He assumed it was the same Jinyoung that Jaebum had met at Jackson's party. Maybe they had gotten along more than he thought.  
"Yes, but I uh, didn't really think this through. I don't want to just knock on the door, because he's said some shit about his parents and I don't think I want to meet them, but then how will I-" Mark placed his hands on Jaebum's shoulders, making him stop talking.  
"Calm down. He's probably fine and nothing happened." Mark intended to convince Jaebum to leave, but the concerned look on his face made Mark continue. "I'll go there and make sure he's fine, hold on."  
"You don't have to-."  
"I want to." Mark didn't really want to, but he was doing it for Jaebum.  
"Okay, but wait." Jaebum had a grip on Mark's wrist to stop him from moving away further. He let go and started digging through his backpack, pulling three notebooks out and handing them to Mark. "These are, uhm, notes of the classes we have together. Just thought he might need them."  
Mark raised an eyebrow. "You? Taking notes? For someone else? Did you finally read your soulmate mark?"  
"Shut up and just give it to him please." Jaebum was practically begging him. So Jinyoung and Jaebum _definitely_ got along more than he though at that party.  
Mark made a beeline for the door and rang the doorbell. He expected to either be ignored, which would then require more doorbell ringing to soothe Jaebum, or to be answered right away. He rang the doorbell again after a minute, and he started hearing footstep sounds. He really wished it was Jinyoung, so that he could confirm he was alright and help Jaebum relax.  
He heard the door being unlocked and when it opened, it was Jinyoung. The first thing Mark noticed was a bruise on his right arm and he suddenly he wanted to ask Jaebum what kind of things Jinyoung had said about his parents. Jinyoung looked confused to see Mark, but his expression faltered when he saw Jaebum leaning on the fence.  
"What are you doing here?" His voice was almost a whisper. It almost looked like he shouldn't have answered the door.  
"Jaebum was worried about you, so I ended up following him here. Also, here." Mark handed Jinyoung the notebooks. "Jaebum, for the first time in his life, took notes. Except they're only from the classes you have together and they were pretty much made for you, but anyway." Jinyoung was careful with the notebooks, and there was a faint blush on his cheeks.  
"Tell him I said thank you." Mark was about to ask about the bruise when there was a loud voice calling out Jinyoung's name. Jinyoung looked terrified. "You should go. I'm sorry, but you really should go." He said, and before Mark could ask, Jinyoung closed the door.  
Mark walked back to where Jaebum was. The voice had sounded like an older woman, most likely his mother, and Mark couldn't get Jinyoung's fearful expression off his mind.  
"What happened?" Jaebum took in Mark's expression and he didn't know what to expect.  
"I gave the notebooks to him," Mark started. "And he told me to thank you. Then his mom called him and he had to go. That's all." He left out the bruise part, so that it wouldn't make Jaebum more worried. "He's fine, I told you."  
Mark walked Jaebum home in silence. He couldn't stop thinking about what happened, where the bruise came from, why Jinyoung's parents couldn't know Mark was there. He had met them before, it's not like he was a complete stranger. It scared Mark to think that maybe the parents Mark had met, which were kind, always asking for Mark's opinion on the food, on the house, weren't the parents Jinyoung got to experience. He wondered what _really_ happened inside that house.  
"You're awfully quiet," Jaebum pointed out. "What's on your mind?"  
"Ah, nothing," Mark lied. Jaebum had an important test next week and he had to study, he couldn't lose focus. Mark didn't want to worry him more and make him fail the test. "Just school stuff."  
"You're thinking about our History test more than my mom is, and that's saying something."  
They crossed the street and reached Jaebum's house. Mark followed him to the door and before he said goodbye, Jaebum spoke.  
"Sorry I made you talk to Jinyoung."  
"It's fine." Mark scratched the back of his neck. He was working through it, or at least he was trying. "We've been talking more often too, so it was really no big deal."  
"I know, I'm glad you are, but still." Jaebum was awkwardly playing with his fingers and Mark knew he felt bad. It's been four years and Mark was still not over what happened. He didn't speak with Jinyoung for years, until he had to ask him for Chemistry help three months ago, and they started getting along. They never spoke of what happened, but Jinyoung tried to ask him why he distanced himself from him and Mark always lied to him, always made up a believable excuse. 'It's for the best', he told himself, 'It's not your fault'. Mark always wondered what would happen if he came clean to Jinyoung, if he told him exactly why he avoided him all those years.  
"You're overthinking." Jaebum's voice interrupted his thoughts.  
"Yeah."  
"Go home already and study if you're that worried. Just don't leave me for our Chemistry teacher."  
"Never." Mark winked at Jaebum.  
When Jaebum got in and closed the door, Mark wanted to run through the city yelling. He didn't know what to do, didn't know if he should confront Jinyoung or just keep it quiet. Everything was a mess, he wanted to murder Jaebum for stressing him the week before exams. He pulled out his phone and tried to find Bambam's number. He had never texted him before, but he knew he was Jinyoung's closest friend, so it was worth the try.  
(3:39) yo its mark i have a question  
(3:40) kinda personal and weird bc we never talked but like, ur friends w jinyoung. did he tell u why he didnt come to school  
(3:43)   no he just txtd me the day b4 asking 4 me to get notes 4 him why  
(3:44) i followed jb to jinyoungs house bc he was worried sick abt him and uhh he had a bruise on his arm?? and when his mom called him he was terrified as fuck?? is he ok??  
(3:46)  o boi  
(3:46) dont mention this 2 a soul or ill get taecyeon 2 rip ur asshole in pieces  
(3:47) his mom hits him  
(3:47)  i caught her once and she didnt see me but like,, jy did and he avoided me 4 a whole week man  
(3:48) its complicated and pls 4 the love of our good lord and savior yixing dont mention it 2 him specifically.  
(3:49) dw i wont but.. fuck man..  
(3:49) i tried convincing him 2 run away and like live w me 4 a while but hes scared shitless m8 and like,, no one can prove anything if he doesnt speak and hes terrified of doing that its just,, fcuked up man  
(3:50) but i never told u any of this  
(3:50) dw, thanks anyway bam.  
(3:51) also if jb asks u anything abt jinyoung dont tell him this he'd lose his mind  
(3:51) [ok emoji]   
Mark kept rereading the texts, trying to make sure he wasn't getting things wrong. He had met Jinyoung's mother, he can't even begin to imagine her hitting him. It was all a shock for him. He couldn't tell Jaebum, he couldn't let the other know about this otherwise he might worsen the situation and do something reckless. He was afraid of what Jaebum would do the next day if Jinyoung came to school, afraid he would notice the bruise and question Jinyoung about it.  
While Mark walked home, Jaebum was trying and failing to study. He couldn't take Jinyoung of his head, the way he looked at him when he answered the door, but he couldn't forget Mark's words either. 'Did you finally read your soulmate mark?'. It was haunting Jaebum, the idea that maybe the name on his skin was Jinyoung's, that maybe all the times he wanted to be with Jinyoung weren't because _he_ wanted to, but because of fate. He wanted to uncover his wrist and find out, but the name might not be Jinyoung's. If it is, Jaebum will distance himself from him out of spite, and if it isn't, Jaebum would end up subconsciously getting close to whoever was his soulmate. Knowing would ruin his life, would ruin his relationship with Jinyoung. 

* * *

  
(11:13) _hey i hope ur feeling better !!_  
Deleted message.  
(11:36) _have u ever wondered who ur soulmate is_  
Deleted message.  
(11:50) _mark thinks we’re soulmates just bc i took notes for u lmao_  
Deleted message.  
(12:00) _i dont know if im bothered by that though_  
Deleted message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the beginning notes and these notes were all more elaborate but i fucked up and had to delete the chap so shrug emoji (ALL BC OF THE OK EMOJI HONESTLY I H8)  
> anyway i didnt kno if the mark jinyoung thing wiould work but a line on chap 1 let me do it so @june mae thx  
> tumblr - mlnseoks (i swear ill stop changing urls gfjghk)


	4. cedar leaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were both feeling the same things at the right time, but neither of them had the courage to admit it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the show jinyoung has feelings! episode 1: im gay what do i do  
> italics is jb, normal text is jy and uhh underlined is bambam  
> someone reminded me i havent updated this fic in an year so heres a quick update to remind yall how gay these fucks r  
> not beta read we die like real men

Jaebum was in a field of marigolds, the sun shining high in the sky. There was nothing there besides him, Jinyoung, and the yellow flowers. The way the sun shone on Jinyoung’s skin made it look golden, as if he was a god, untouchable. Jaebum was mesmerized by his beauty.  
Jinyoung reached out and placed a hand on Jaebum’s cheek, moving closer to him. Jaebum could count his eyelashes from how close he was, could see the hint of a mustache under his nose. It was all happening too fast, but at the same time, too slowly. Jaebum could feel Jinyoung’s breath on his lips and he was so close, so close-  
The loud sound of the alarm brought Jaebum back to reality. The darkness of his room was a contrast from the bright place he had dreamed of. It was the second time he had dreamed about Jinyoung, about having the boy close enough to touch. Everytime he woke up, it always left him wanting more, wishing he could feel Jinyoung’s lips on his, even if it was in a dream.  
Jaebum finally got up, deciding to stop mopping in bed and start getting ready for school, but the image of Jinyoung under sunlight was still on his mind.

* * *

Jinyoung couldn't sleep. He didn't know if it was the pain, the anxiety, or more anxiety. The bruises his mom had given him were already fading, but they still hurt to touch. And then there was Jaebum.  
Jaebum was something new for Jinyoung. People had tried to get close to Jinyoung before; Mark was an example. But with them, Jinyoung knew their intentions, knew what they wanted from him. Jaebum was a mystery Jinyoung couldn't decipher. He didn't know what the other wanted with him, but he didn't know what he wanted with him either. He was just another school colleague, but it felt different. His touch felt electrifying on Jinyoung’s skin, and his voice was like a comforting lullaby. Jinyoung could relax, let himself forget about his worries whenever he was with Jaebum. The day they spent under the rain was the day Jinyoung had felt truly alive for the first time in years.  
Jinyoung didn't know what to make of that, though. He had never felt anything like that before, had never felt drawn to a person like that before. Jaebum had something that made Jinyoung feel safe, made him never want to leave the other’s side. That’s where his anxiety came in; he had a fear that maybe this attraction was being caused by his soulmate mark, that maybe, even if he didn't know who his soulmate was, fate could still bring them together. It scared him to think that his feelings weren't truly his own (not that he understood what they meant anyways).  
He still needed to figure out what he felt towards Jaebum. It felt like something more than just friendship, but Jinyoung didn't want to call it love, not yet. Jaebum meant more to him than most did, yet it wasn't to the point where he’d drop everything to be with him. It was confusing; did he like him? was he just a friend? Jinyoung didn't know. He loved talking to Jaebum, loved having his presence next to him, but he could say the same thing about all his other friends. He could find comfort in Jaebum’s touch and yearned to feel it again, but that was normal, wasn't it? Was it alright for him to think about Jaebum before going to bed, in hopes that it would help him sleep?  
Jinyoung didn't know. Jaebum was tying a knot in his head that he couldn't untie.

* * *

(02:31) bam  
(02:34) is it weird to keep thinking about a friend all the time?  
_Message deleted_  
(02:40) how did you know you liked yug?  
_Message deleted_  
(02:43) how do i know if i like someone?  
_Message deleted_  
(02:50) what   
(02:52) i think i like jaebum  
_Message deleted_  
(02:54) i think i like someone  
_Message deleted_  
(02:59) uhh nothing nevermind

* * *

(03:14) you up?  
_Message deleted_  
(03:16) can i talk to you?  
_Message deleted_  
(03:20) i can't sleep because i keep thinking of you and that time we went out in the rain and i felt so happy  
_Message deleted_  
(03:22) why do you make my heart beat so fast why do you make me feel so happy  
_Message deleted_  
(03:25) i don't know what im saying  
_Message deleted_  
(03:30) i like you?  
_Message deleted_  
(03:32) i think i might  
_Message deleted_  
(03:50) i think i love you  
_Message deleted_  
Jinyoung put his phone away and tried to block all his thoughts of Jaebum. This was getting out of his control. Maybe if he tried to forget about this, it would go away.  
(it wouldn't. he knew that. nothing could make the warmth that took over him whenever he thought about Jaebum go away)

* * *

_(06:09) i think i love you_  
_Message deleted_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dfshjfhsdg sorry i took an year to update high school rlly whipped out my ass  
> i started this today n finished it today just to remind yall im not dead but uhhh... ill probably b slow w updates again bc i forgot what i wanted 2 do w this story... rip. maybe ill finish this around nano. shrug emoji


	5. burning achilleas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson throws a party, things don't go well, and Jaebum discovers things he wishes he could forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit i proof read this n fixed some stuff sorry yall  
> haha remember when i said id update more often... no  
> yall know the deal i only have the will to update when someone comments on the latest chapter n someone did last night or today idk so.... yea  
> ive actually had this chapter for like a While now i just never fucking finished it but yea here we fuckin go. its not proof read or anything bc my beta reader is @ work n yall gotta have this chapter bc im finally fucking... ykno... moving on w the plot  
> srry yall gotta deal w me im just suffering w finals bc i failed 4 classes lol but hey...  
> jb is italics jackson is underlined/not underlined bc apparently half of the messages are underlined but the other half arent n im too lazy to fix it

(15:21) B)c   
_ (15:25) no _ __  
(15:26) B)cc   
_ (15:27) jackson go die in a ditch _ __  
(15:28) B(c   
_ (15:28) fine what is it _ __  
(15:29) party tonight   
(15:29) 11pm   
_ (15:30) why so late _ __  
(15:32) parents are only leaving at 10pm apparently   
(15:34) also ur bf is gonna be there   
_ (15:35) hes not my boyfriend _ __  
_ (15:35) is yours gonna be there too _ __  
(15:36) whatever just come   
(15:36) and 1- hes not my boyfriend 2- yea marks coming   
Jaebum hated this. Ever since Jackson found out through Mark that he and Jinyoung were getting close, he started calling him his boyfriend, and Jaebum  _ hated _ it. He wasn’t his boyfriend, he was pretty sure Jinyoung didn't even like him like that. Fucking Jackson.   
He didn't really want to go, since he had to study for tests and had too much homework to do, but Jinyoung was there, so maybe it’d be worth it.   
When Jaebum saw him later that night, Jackson smiled, closed his hand and put it in front of his face. He called it the :3c face. Jaebum hoped there were enough drinks inside for him to survive Jackson.   
Jackson Wang was not only rich but also someone who managed to befriend everyone. Literally. He had everyone’s numbers, knew everyone in town and more, and was even friends with the school employees. And whenever he threw a party, which was almost every weekend, he invited all of those people. But, even though he knew all of them, he always hung out with Mark. They’ve been best friends since middle school and they’ve never left each other’s side. Jaebum often wondered if there was ever something else between them, but didn’t dare to ask.   
While trying to find Jinyoung, Bambam and Yugyeom found Jaebum first.    
“Jae! I thought you said your mom grounded you for getting a bad history grade.” Jaebum had more than one bad grade and his mother wasn’t happy, to say the least.   
“Yeah, she thinks I’m here to study with Jackson.”   
“Sneaky.”    
“I assume that’s Yugyeom?” They hadn’t actually met yet; Yugyeom was from another school, but Jackson happened to really like him so he was always around. Jaebum had talked to him before, but not face to face. He and Bambam had been together for a little over an year now, and it was impossible not to know that. They talked about each other a lot, always hung out. It was sweet, how much they enjoyed each other’s company.   
Bambam’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Yug, this is Jaebum. He’s funny sometimes and won’t admit he likes Jinyoung.” Jaebum sighed.   
“That’s because I don’t, Bam.”   
“Yeah, yeah, anyways! Did you- Oh, wait a minute.” Bambam quickly turned around, going towards someone that was calling for him, leaving Jaebum and Yugyeom alone.   
“Sorry, he can be a bit… Too excited.” Yugyeom had a hand at the back of his neck. They both felt a bit out of place.   
“That’s okay, we’re all used to it.”   
“Well, uhm, so.”   
“So.”   
“How have y-” Yugyeom was interrupted by a loud crash.   
They heard yelling from the kitchen and Jaebum quickly turned his head to try and see what was happening, but there were too many people blocking his view. It sounded like one of the voices was Mark’s, but he couldn't be sure. Mark wasn't the type to fight anyways, so this was strange. Eventually, Jaebum managed to get through the sea of drunk teenagers and saw what was really happening; Jackson was trying to keep Mark and Jinyoung apart, trying to avoid a physical fight. Neither were the type to start arguing, much less start a fight.   
“My life isn’t your fucking business, Mark!” Jinyoung yelled, pure anger in his voice. He wasn’t one to swear, Jaebum isn’t sure if he’s ever heard him swear before. Something was wrong,  _ felt _ wrong. “Who I like shouldn’t matter to you!”   
“Except it does and you know exactly why!” Mark seemed just as angry. Jaebum kept getting lost in his thoughts, only to be brought back to reality by their loud voices. It was all too much for him. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the situation he was in, but Jaebum felt like his head was spinning.   
They continued to argue, but at this point, Jaebum wasn’t listening anymore. Jinyoung and Mark kept trying to get Jackson out of their way, but he wouldn’t move. If he did, things would get worse. Jaebum’s skin was crawling. Everything felt wrong and he couldn’t explain it. It was like he was stuck in a nightmare and he couldn’t wake up.   
“-and that’s not how it works anymore!” Mark’s voice was so loud, so filled with anger, it made Jaebum shiver. “We’re each other’s soulmates and you can’t fucking change that, Jinyoung!”   
Jaebum needed to leave. Part of him didn’t want to; he wanted to stay and understand what was going on, maybe try to help, but he couldn’t. The more he stayed there the more he felt like he was going to throw up.   
He pushed people around, trying to get to the door. There were too many people, all paying close attention to the fight. Jaebum felt sick, so sick. It seemed like the door was millions of miles away and he’d never get to it. He could still hear them screaming and it added to his need to get out of Jackson’s house and never come back.   
Someone called his name, probably wondering where he was going, if he was okay, but he couldn’t turn back. He wanted to, but he was moving on autopilot. He seemed calm, but his mind was panicking and he could barely breathe.   
He slammed the door behind him and the fresh air threatened to choke him. It was like leaving a room filled with smoke. He started walking, not knowing exactly where he was going, because that house felt like a fire that burned Jaebum’s mind.   
Problem number one: he didn't know the way home. It was 2am and, while he didn't have that many drinks, he still felt dizzy. He could have called someone to pick him up, but all his friends were at the party, and his parents couldn’t know he wasn’t studying. Problem number two: he was lost. He had wandered through the streets, trying to follow familiar places, but that ended in nothing. He was in a residential neighbourhood, filled with pretty houses with front gardens that looked so perfect it was as if they came from a movie. One of those gardens, though, looked particularly breathtaking. And familiar. Too familiar.   
Problem number three: it was Jinyoung’s house. Jaebum was standing right in front of it, looking at the roses Jinyoung’s mother was so proud of. It made him sick. Thinking of Jinyoung, the anger in his voice, made him sick.   
“Jaebum?” someone,  _ Jinyoung _ , called. Jaebum had heard that voice too many times, he knew it by heart. He looked up and saw Jinyoung walking towards him. Even in the dark, Jaebum could notice his puffy, red eyes. “What are you doing here?”   
“I, uh,” it was hard to explain “i got drunk and tried to go home and ended up here”. “I don't know.”   
“It’s late, why aren’t you home?” There was worry in his voice and Jaebum thought for a second that maybe the voice calling out his name back in the house was him. “Are you alright?”   
“Yeah, I’m okay, just couldn’t remember the way home.”   
“Well, my parents aren't here for the weekend. You can stay if you want.” Oh. So that's why he came to the party. He had told Jaebum before that his parents rarely let him leave the house, unless it was for studying, which is how he went to Jackson’s last party.   
“Okay.”   
“Okay.”   
They walked to the front door in silence. Jaebum couldn't stop staring at Jinyoung’s eyes, wondering what happened with Mark. Jinyoung didn't seem like the type that cried easily, and while Jaebum didn't want to know what happened, there was a still a part of him that was curious, too curious. Jinyoung couldn't stop thinking about Jaebum either, wondering why the other had ended up at his place. Maybe it was just coincidence, or maybe Jaebum knew where he was going when he left. Too many maybes.   
“Uh,” Jinyoung started, closing the front door. “We don't exactly have a spare room, so we’ll have to share a bed. Unless you want the couch.” Sharing a bed. With Jaebum. Not Jinyoung’s wisest idea.   
“Whatever’s best for you.”   
They did end up sharing the bed. Neither of them bothered to change clothes, opting for going to sleep instead. There was an uncomfortable silence between them, that neither were brave enough to break. Jinyoung was too afraid to ask why he came to his house, and Jaebum was too afraid to ask about Mark. Both seemed like personal things, and they weren't that good of friends yet, they thought.   
“Why did you leave?” was the first thing Jinyoung thought of asking.    
“I’m not a huge fan of fights.” That was a lie, but Jinyoung didn't have to know. If they didn't have their backs to each other, maybe Jinyoung would have been able to tell by his face.   
“Ah.”   
They went to playing their game of who had the courage to ask first. Neither of them had it, but one of them had to break. The silence was suffocating, but the things they had to say were worse.   
“You’re wondering why we were fighting.” There it was. Jaebum’s chest felt tighter after he said it.   
“You don't have to tell me.”   
“I know, but you want to know.”   
Jaebum felt like he was shaking. There wasn't an accusing tone in Jinyoung’s voice, but it felt like it did. Breathing felt a bit harder.    
“You know this whole soulmates thing?” Jinyoung and Jaebum shared their hatred for the marks on their bodies, and they promised each other to never bring it up. Now that Jinyoung did, Jaebum remembered the words that came out of Mark's mouth earlier. It explained everything. Why Mark avoided Jinyoung all these years, why he used to like Jinyoung when they were younger, why Mark acted strange whenever the three of them were together, why they fought earlier.    
“You’re soulmates.” Saying it outloud felt like a knife in Jaebum’s chest. They weren't dating, weren't meant for each other, weren't the closest of friends, so why did it hurt so much?   
He knew why, but trying not to think of it was easier.   
“Yeah.” Jinyoung’s voice was quiet, quieter than usual. “I haven't looked at my mark, though.”   
“Why not? You already know who it is.”   
“I don't know. I think part of me hopes it’s someone else.” Someone else like Jaebum, but he would never say that.    
“Like who?”   
“I…” Jinyoung hesitated. “I don't know.”   
“Was it that bad to know who your soulmate is?”   
“We didn't fight because he told me I was his soulmate.” The words burned on Jinyoung’s tongue, but he had to say it. “We fought because of you.”   
“Why?” Mark couldn't be jealous. It’s not like he and Jinyoung were that close.   
“He acted strange whenever I talked about you, or whenever you were around, so I asked him. He said that me and you were so close, it seemed like we were soulmates. I guess he was bothered by that.” Bothered just like Jinyoung caught himself being bothered by the fact that Jaebum had someone else for him, but he quickly shut that thought down.   
“You fought because Mark was jealous.”   
“Yes.”   
“But why? I mean, unless you like someone else, it’s not a big deal.”  __ ‘Unless you like someone else’ . He did, and said someone else was right next to him. “Do you?”   
“Do I what?”   
“Like someone else.”   
Jinyoung didn't answer. He didn't trust himself to answer without saying anything he shouldn't. Instead, he closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep.   
“Jinyoung?”    
“Go to bed, Jaebum.”   
“Okay.” Jaebum was forcing it. It was something Jinyoung wouldn't tell him, and he understood why, but now he knew he liked someone. He shouldn't have asked why they fought, things would have been better that way.   
It was easier to just go to bed and forget the conversation in the morning, but neither of them could sleep after that.   
It was a long night, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before anyone @s me lsiten... when u put two depressed hs teens w anxiety and attention probably together w communication issues n standard teen jealously u get this chapter. mark has some issues hes gonna eventually work thru. jinyoung is just going thru too much. jb is discovering his degrading mental state. yyeah  
> someone actually mentioned they thought mark n jinyoung were soulmates quite early on.... guess w h a t  
> tmblr @mlnseoks  
> twt @youngandfreemp3

**Author's Note:**

> this is bound to get angsty soon so lmao u have been warned  
> jb calling jr an animal was the highlight of this fic let me tell u - also i almost let the phrase "he opened the bear" slip so all my friends said i opened a bear  
> #RIPTheBear


End file.
